Heroes and zeros of the fantasy football season

Dallas Morning News’ Ladd Biro recaps this season of Fantasy Football by picking the best and worst players of the year. Click here to read all the picks on the way we were.

We are proud to announce Ladd Biro will be participating in the 2009 Texas Testosterone Festival. More details will be announced as we have them.

Being out-of-touch has now become painfully obvious

Online blog Do512 has posted a fairly extensive list of confirmed and rumored performers for this year’s SXSW Music Festival. Further cementing our need to avoid publishing anything close to a Top 10 Albums list for 2008 is the fact that we have looked at the list… and don’t recognize anyone.

Well, except for Matthew Dear. That dude’s electronica is cool. And cool is a word we’re sure none of the kids in any of the other bands on the list ever use anymore.

If you’re interested to read a bunch of band names solely for the curiosity of what band names nowadays look like, please click here. We think the writing was on the wall last year when we only got excited for Daryl Hall (of Hall & Oates), Hanson, Blue Rodeo, Dolly Parton, and no one else. Well, we did get excited for the day parties with the free beer and barbecue. Have no idea what crap bands were playing in the background.

Our humble requests for SXSW 2009 are the following:

Owen Beverly (who would have album of the year and Honorary Texan status if we could actually identify 10 albums we purchased this year)

Jimmy Eat World

Paul Stanley of KISS (Tell him he can do an art show for his paintings. He’ll show.)

Gojira

Dead Milkmen (we’re sad we missed them at Fun Fun Fun Fest)

We called it!

Well, no. We didn’t call Frank Mir TKO’ing Antonio Nogueira. Nor Rashad Evans snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. Hell, we didn’t see Quinton Jackson’s devastating KO of Wanderlei Silva.

We called Pat Barry’s undercard demolition of Dan Evensen - a clinic on the truly destructive power of the leg kick. Evensen could barely walk after the first leg kick and had to quit after the sixth or so kick to his lead left leg.

Look for Barry to rise quickly up the Heavyweight rankings with performances like this. He outclassed Evensen throughout the fight and demonstrated skills beyond the average UFC Heavyweights.

Kongo next? We’re suggesting Captain America, Randy Couture. It’s the ideal matchup for a Heavyweight taking the up escalator looking for marquee value. It’s a risk but the timing is right. Joe Silva, make it happen!

Toros will lose only when they please

The Austin Toros notched their eighth straight win last night over the Los Angeles D-Fenders by choosing to allow the D-Fenders to score 90 only after they had scored 98 for themselves.

The Toros wanted the game to be entertaining for the fans at the Austin Convention Center although Harlem Globetrotters vs. Washington Generals-like rout is certainly possibly in Utah on January 2. The Toros are undefeated this season on the road.

Four of the Toros five starters scored double-digits.

The Toros now head out on a four game road trip that concludes with a showdown with the other D-League monsters at 10-3 so far this season, the Bakersfield Jam. The teams meet in a showcase in Orem, UT on Thursday, January 8. The Toros are next home January 10 against the Colorado 14ers, whom they have crushed earlier in the season.

Losers and tigers and bears, oh my

“A loss would install the Lions in their very own NFL Hall of Shame as the league’s first team to go 0-16 in a season. They’re already the first to go 0-15. A win, of course, would be better, allowing Detroit the dubious distinction of becoming the ninth franchise to finish a season 1-15.”–ESPN.

At least they still have cheerleaders worth watching on the field. They’re arguably more organized and definitely more athletic (-looking).

Don’t talk during the movie or this will happen…

According to Slashfilm.com: “A family seated in front of Cialella began to talk during the film, so he told them to be quiet. But that didn’t stop the younger son from making comments. He even threw popcorn angrily at the talkative son, but the talk did not stop. Cialella became so enraged that he pulled out a Kel-Tec .380-caliber handgun and shot the father in the left arm.”

Man, I hope this isn’t a trend. That said, people talking during a movie is like…is like gunshots during a movie.

Fantasy football picks for Week 17

Dallas Morning News’ Ladd Biro makes his picks for Week 17 of the 2008 Fantasy Football season. Read his latest column by clicking here.

We are proud to announce Ladd Biro will be participating in the 2009 Texas Testosterone Festival. More details will be announced as we have them.

Toros Continue Best Start in Franchise History

The Austin Toros whooped the Tulsa 66ers 89 to 78 for their seventh straight victory and second against the struggling 66ers. Malik Hairston returned from a short trip down to the San Antonio Spurs to score 17 and Andre Brown scored 20 more in a game the 66ers led by 8 points at the half.

But no one really believed they had a chance.

Last night’s game is the first of a two-game, two-night homestand at the Austin Convention Center. The Toros host the Los Angeles D-Fenders tonight.

Pat Barry Knows How to Sell PPVs

UFC’s Heavyweight Division is in one of its weirdest phases - second only to a short period a few years ago where the division was so anemic, and so outclassed by Japan’s Pride, some people were calling for the division to be folded altogether.

Times have changed, but they’re weird. Cro Cop was exposed as a one-legged man, Frank Mir is a #1 contender despite yet being able to show the commitment and strength he had before his motorcycle accident when Heavyweight Champion, and Brock Lesnar is the current Heavyweight Champion - with a record of 3 and 1. He may be a Paper Champion but that’s one damn big piece of paper.

Meanwhile the division is stacked with great talent. Antonio Nogueira is arguable the second greatest Heavyweight in the world, Gabriel Gonzaga continues to impress after losing to Randy Couture a year and a half ago, Couture is around now to be gatekeeper until he gets bored, and we have a buddy who can’t wait for B.J. Penn to start kicking Heavyweight butt. But he’s crazy. Shane Carwin, Cheick Kongo, and Cain Velasquez are all hanging around waiting for that one fight or knockout that will launch them into a title fight.

In comes Pat Barry, who will have me buying the next Pay Per View just for the CHANCE to see “the best pure striker in the UFC heavyweight division.” This dude talks in exclamation points at all times and if there is one thing that gets us excited for a fight, it’s exclamation points.

“If you aint gonna give it 2000% what’s the point!” Exactly. We gave something 110%, as usual, a week ago and it just didn’t work out for us. 2000 seems like the right number.

Fightlinker.com is similarly anticipating Barry’s arrival. Great minds…

Look for Barry’s dance moves, amazing abs, and “pure” striking on UFC 92. Good luck, Pat!

All I Ever Got Was a Lump of Coal…

And I don’t know what came over me. I saw all these beautifully wrapped presents under the Christmas tree of this house I passed by and I remember being taken over by my thoughts.

“I bet that’s a Playstation. And that’s an Ipod.” I was excited and overwhelmed by emotion. It was like I had died, was reborn, and fast-forwarded to my seventh Christmas, the year my Father actually had a job and had spent months telling us we could expect a big Christmas, unlike any other we’d had so far.

That was until he wandered into the newly open Indian casino in the town next door. And Santa forgot his map with East Texas on it, or so my Dad said.

Flash to present day and I saw those gifts under the tree and I became dizzy with anticipation and nostalgia for what should have been. The door was unlocked, which was Santa’s sign to me that what I was doing was meant to be. Christmas would finally come to my house. I grabbed the most attractive boxes and quickly made my way to my white Cadillac, tossing the gifts into the trunk and the largest of the gifts into the shotgun seat.

Still dizzy with Christmas euphoria, I shifted into Drive and ran right into another car. I couldn’t remain there so I grabbed one gift I hope they don’t notice is missing and ran for ze hillz.

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