Tickets to The Festival make the Best Father’s Day Present

We’ve done the research and the evidence is overwhelming… the best Father’s Day present possible is tickets to The Texas Testosterone Festival. Tickets go on sale Father’s Day - this Sunday, June 21.

Buy tickets online by clicking here and show the printed receipt to Dad - if he doesn’t begin weeping with joy we’ll be shocked. If he does, pull out the camera and record it. We’ll put it on the website. We have the technology, and we have the popcorn.

Amateur Film Critics Wanted for Free Screening

The Austin Film Festival is inviting you to watch a movie for free and then tell the filmmakers what you thought of it before it is released to the general public. The UT Film Institute is screening Dance With the One on Wednesday, April 22 at Alamo Drafthouse Lake Creekat 7:00 PM. Interested Ebert-like film lovers are requested to RSVP to RSVP@AustinFilmFestival.com.

Honest feedback is encouraged. The opportunity to throw Alamo’s delicious selection of food and beer at the screen, is not.

Synopsis: Nate wants nothing more than to run away with Nikki, the love of his life. But he can’t because his little brother and hippie dad depend on him for everything. When Nate’s boss asks him to baby sit a million dollars of hash, Nate finally sees a way out. But, in Austin , things have a habit of ‘getting weird’– the hash goes missing– and now Nate must protect his loved ones from Roy , a lethal drug-runner.

Movie Trailers and they’re secrets (*whispered)

“Nothing major, it’s just that with all the movies he’s made, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tom Hanks hold a gun and look as if he intends to use it.  Would be nice one day to actually see Hanks in a role as a spy or in cop drama, but I guess that’s just wishful thinking.”–LatinoReview.com

I’m a huge fan of movie trailers. With the amount of stuff that the studios cram into each one, it’s almost not worth seeing the full movie when it comes out. Case in point, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. But, whew, am I looking forward to G.I. Joe. Not for the Joe, but for Sienna Miller. Holy FSM, she’s hot; and in a tight leather outfit, sold.

Film Guru On… Summer Blockbusters

The weather is getting warmer… actually, that’s a lie. The weather is still unseasonably and miserably chilly.

But we’re dreaming of warmer weather and that has us thinking about sitting in an unseasonably chilly movie theatre to watch the latest blockbusters - which somehow won’t have us miserable like we are now. 

So we reached out to Kelly Williams, Film Program Director of the Austin Film Festival, to ask him “What are the summer blockbusters you are most looking forward to seeing this year?”

1. Funny People

Judd Apatow does his best Hal Ashby impression, but regardless, it should be another solid Apatow film. It seems that there is always a new “Judd Apatow” movie out there, but rare is the one with him behind the camera.

2. Year One

Six words: A New Comedy by Harold Ramis

3. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

This seems more in line with the first two X-Men films, which helped open the door to the current wave of great comic book films. Plus Wolverine is bad ass, we all know that.

4. GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I was a kid in the 80s, why wouldn’t I want to see this? Actually, I have pretty low expectations for this one, but I am really curious. I’m pretty sure (like the animated Transformers: The Movie did) the live action will be trumped by 1987’s animated GI Joe: The Movie featuring the voice talent of Don Johnson and the late Burgess Meredith.

5. Land of the Lost

Well, the work of Sid and Marty Krofft is always good for a solid freak out, but you throw Danny McBride and Will Ferrell in there and who knows what you’ll get – maybe a solid adventure comedy, maybe a total bomb. Either way, the best thing that could come out of this situation is more Krofft adaptations!

Kelly Williams has been involved with the Austin Film Festival since 2001. In 2004, he became the Film Program Director at the Austin Film Festival where he programs features and shorts as well as oversees the full scope of the festival’s programming. For more information on the Austin Film Festival please visit www.austinfilmfestival.com.

At Last, Chuck Norris May Run For President of Texas

Sorry to be late to the draw with this one guys, but we’ve been on vacation and just returned to hear the news we’ve been waiting for since Missing in Action 2 - Chuck Norris published his intent to possibly run for President… of Texas. Yeah, we know what you’re thinking. It sounds cool when you think he’s running for President but when you follow-through and he says …of Texas - it gets even cooler.

Chuck writes “I’m not saying that other states won’t muster the gumption to stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it.”

We here at the Texas Testosterone Festival would like to publicly support absolutely any efforts Mr. Norris may undertake to do anything. Both because we think he can accomplish anything he sets his mind (and fists) to but also we know Chuck would kick our ass if we don’t support him. 

We may be on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and a beer, but we support him.

Recap of Last Night’s Oscars

Hugh Jackman hosted last night’s Oscars, beginning with a stunning song and dance performance that left many applauding the handsome man’s breadth of talent.

Are you kidding? You clicked on this story?

Another Reason to get Netflix’s Roku Box

The US Postal Service is planning to reduce its mail service an additional day. This, of course, gives us another excuse why the credit card bill won’t get paid in time to hold that low introductory apr but more importantly, it cripples our Netflix watching. 

Because honestly, what other use is there for the mail at this point?

Film Guru on… Arm Stumps

We got dragged over the holidays to the film Valkyrie - which is truly a film before its time. It should have been made after everyone has forgotten how World War II finished.

But the remarkable thing about the film was Tom Cruise’s arm stump. Cruise loses a hand during an Allied bombing attack and the most interesting thing about his performance from that point on is his ability to keep his arm stump away from our morbidly curious eyes.

So we reached out to Kelly Williams, Film Program Director of the Austin Film Festival, to ask him “What are the great film characters with arm stumps?”

Surprisingly, he responded.

“1. Harold Russell in The Best Years of our Lives (lost his actual hands in WWII and then played a soldier who had – took home the best supporting actor Oscar for it in 1947)
2. Ash in Evil Dead (hand cut off)
3. Dr. No in Dr. No
4. Luke Skywalker in Empire Strike Back
5. Captain Hook in Hook”

Looks like it’s going to be Stump Week on Netflix. Thanks, Kelly.

Kelly Williams has been involved with the Austin Film Festival since 2001.  In 2004, he became the Film Program Director at the Austin Film Festival where he programs features and shorts as well as oversees the full scope of the festival’s programming. For more information on the Austin Film Festival please visit www.austinfilmfestival.com.

Going Bionic Commando

“Last time action-platformer reboot Bionic Commando passed through the office, I didn’t get a chance to try out all the multiplayer grappling-arm action, so when Capcom held a recent press event for another look, I leapt at the chance to try it out firsthand. It took some time, a bit of practice, and a few shotgun blasts to the face, but eventually, I got comfortable leaping off the side of a building, whipping around 180 degrees, and finally catapulting around to the other side, Spider-Man-style, using nothing but momentum and my extendable arm.”

This has to be one of the coolest reboots of a videogame franchise ever. Bionic Commando was one of my favorite games back when Nintendo’s 8-bit was king and 3-D was only in real life and bad Jaws movies. Now they’re bringing it into the 21st century with all the fun of the original intact. This may just get me to plunk down the near-$1k it takes to play videogames at home these days (not counting the Wii).

Sincerist Gratitude, Porn

“For an industry that many people won’t admit they’ve ever patronized, pornography has had an amazing impact on virtually every new medium, from cave painting to photography. Dirty pictures have been credited with ensuring the future of the VCR, boosting cable TV subscriptions, helping to kill off the Betamax and HD DVD formats, and (perhaps most important) driving the growth of the Internet.”

As if I don’t already thank the FSM for the existence of porn at least 3 or 4 times a day maybe we should come together and collectively thank our favorite deity for allowing porn to thrive (even if we won’t admit to our significant others that it has saved our lives more than once). Not the best article ever written by PCWorld, but one worth writing none-the-less.

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