SuperModel Amber Smith is Coming…

We wish we could say we’ve been saving some of our best news for the last minute… and we wish we could say this news just dropped into our lap… but the truth is… who cares how or when? Internationally recognized supermodel, reality TV star, accomplished actress, and super hot chick Amber Smith is coming to The Texas Testosterone Festival!

Voted “One of the Sexiest Women in the World” by Maxim Magazine, Amber Smith has graced the covers of over 300 magazines worldwide, including Playboy, Vogue, and Maxim, with her initial fame concurrent with her appearances in two Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues.
Amber is a veteran of VH-1 TV series “Celebrity Rehab” and its sequel “Sober House.” During Fall 2009, Amber will appear in a third such VH-1 reality program, “Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew,” and will confront another one of her demons—this time love addiction– on national television.
Amber has also appeared in numerous high profile motion pictures. These include: “L.A. Confidential” and “American Beauty” along with a brief but highly memorable appearance in Howard Stern’s “Private Parts.”

Amber will be available to sign autographs, take pictures, and answer all of your questions. The autographs will be for sale so come prepared. Damn, dude! Amber Smith is coming!

Put a Testosterone Festival Banner On Your Blog…

(Or Myspace, or Facebook, or webpage, or whatever.) Four banners to choose from. Copy and paste the html code to where you copy and paste that sort of thing. Any problems? Call your favorite nerd.

120×240	Include the following text: <a href=”http://www.TexasTestosteroneFestival.com”><img src=”http://www.texastestosteronefestival.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ttf_120×240_vertical-banner.jpg”></img></a>
180×150	Include the following text: <a href=”http://www,TexasTestosteroneFestival.com”><img src=”http://www.texastestosteronefestival.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ttf_180×150_rectangle.jpg”></img></a>
234×60	Include the following text: <a href=”http://www.TexasTestosteroneFestival.com”><img src=”http://www.texastestosteronefestival.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ttf_234×60_half-banner.jpg”></img></a>
468×60	Include the following text: <a href=”http://www.TexasTestosteroneFestival.com”><img src-”http://www.texastestosteronefestival.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ttf_468×60_full-banner.jpg”></img></a>

Tickets to The Festival make the Best Father’s Day Present

We’ve done the research and the evidence is overwhelming… the best Father’s Day present possible is tickets to The Texas Testosterone Festival. Tickets go on sale Father’s Day - this Sunday, June 21.

Buy tickets online by clicking here and show the printed receipt to Dad - if he doesn’t begin weeping with joy we’ll be shocked. If he does, pull out the camera and record it. We’ll put it on the website. We have the technology, and we have the popcorn.

Newsflash: Women are Pickier Than Men

Granted, the wife can’t be considered all that picky.

WebMD has the details.

Guess that makes her a ‘Mom’sicle

(Groans).

Woman may have kept mother’s body in freezer for 20 years.

One Man’s List is All Any Woman Needs to Know

About men, that is. Came across this list on the web and can’t say we disagree with any of it.

About cats:”We hate them, and not just because they poop in our houses.”

About internet porn: “We will always, ALWAYS look at Internet porn. Don’t be threatened, though, because it’s not a sign of your inadequacy - it’s more like breathing.”

About sensitivity: “We’re probably not going to notice any minor improvement or decline in your appearance.”

The article is one man’s attempt to make life bearable for men by explaining us to women. As Ralph the Dog sings, “You can’t live with ‘em, you can’t live without ‘em. I guess there’s something irresistabullish about ‘em. I hope that something better comes along.”

Women like to say a lot of things

“In fact, women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day - 13,000 more than the average man.”

I’m convinced that the reason women win most arguments is quantity of what’s spoken rather than quality of what’s spoken. How ’bout it, guys?

Crazy woman, fried over-easy, please

“The victim said during the struggle one of the women hit him in the head with a frying pan and the other attacked him with a knife.”–Austin’s www.keyetv.com

Sounds like just a case of miscommunication to me. Maybe he should’ve handed them a fork instead of a phone. Or a wisk.

Jail=vacation, supposedly

“HMP Lindholme has a games room, TV room with DVDs and an activities centre for computer classes.The Prison Service said measures would be introduced this Spring which would stop prisoners using mobile phones in prisons.”–www.dailymail.co.uk

This reminds me of a Todd Barry bit. He’s having a conversation with his friend who claims that they have to have the death penalty because prisons are like hotels: “How are they like hotels? ‘They’re like hotels because they got the color TVs, man”…”They have to have color TVs in prison, people. You know how hard it is to find a black and white set these days? I don’t want my tax dollars spent to send prison officials roaming from yard sale to yard sale looking for an old Magnavox to torture these guys with. And, I’ve never been to prison, but I’ve stayed at a lot of hotels, and from what I understand, the big difference in prison, they give you a much more severe wake up call…”

You really can do anything you want in Brazil, I guess

“But Hershey was forced to settle with her FFF mosquito bites because “the state of Texas has limits on the amount of silicone that can be injected into breast implants,” noted ABC. Reading this, we found ourselves impressed by Texas, because we didn’t think it was the kind of state to impose limits on such things, what with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and the state priding itself on everything being bigger there and whatnot.”

I’m glad ABCnewyork.com let us know about this. Who cares what Obama, Michael Phelps or Christian Bale are up to. This is the kind of news worthy of attention. And as the article so accurately ponders about the World Record book this woman so desperately wants to be in: “We wonder if Guinness has a category for worst back pain.”

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