Tickets to The Festival make the Best Father’s Day Present

We’ve done the research and the evidence is overwhelming… the best Father’s Day present possible is tickets to The Texas Testosterone Festival. Tickets go on sale Father’s Day - this Sunday, June 21.

Buy tickets online by clicking here and show the printed receipt to Dad - if he doesn’t begin weeping with joy we’ll be shocked. If he does, pull out the camera and record it. We’ll put it on the website. We have the technology, and we have the popcorn.

Ingrid Newkirk of PETA is a Nut, Michael Schumacher Fan

Ingrid Newkirk, founder of PETA, has posted her last will and testament on PETA’s website and her nuttiness has been confirmed. She is donating her body, not to science, where her nuttiness could be examined and discerned so as to prevent similar nuttiness in other nuts in the future. She is donating her body to PETA with some delicious suggestions such as

“That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue…”
“That my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products, such as purses… and that some skin be tacked up outside the Indian Leather Fair each year…”
“my feet be removed and umbrella stands or other ornamentation be made from them…”
“That a little part of my heart be buried near the racetrack at Hockenheim, preferably near the Ferrari pits, where Michael Shumacher raced in and won the German Grand Prix.”

For the entire list, which includes destinations for her thumbs, liver, eyeballs, ears, and other parts, please grab a beer and a bowl of buffalo wings and visit PETA’s official website for the entire document.

Eh, they’re alright looking…

“Danica Patrick initially became interested in racing cars at age 10, when her sister started go-karting. In due time, Danica was the only Patrick still involved in the sport, and as a teenager she eventually placed second (a first for a woman) at the Formula Ford Festival in England.”

AskMen.com has a pretty comprehensive list of 99 attractive women. Personally, I’d've preferred a list of 999 attractive women, but I’ll settle for this pansy-sized list. And, what about No. 91, Danica Patrick? I hear she likes it. Racing, that is.